Classic

him: u said somethin about osu's most notorius grad, and i was asking who that was
her: oh thta would be satan
him: hahahaha
him: right
him: u know god also graduated from osu
him: they were roommates
her: no he graduated from michigan
her: and jesus went to unc
him: hahaha
him: god def. did not go to michigan
him: he wouldn't have let the campus be in ann arbor if that was the case
her: yes he did; he showed me his diploma in a dream
her: ann arbor was picked just to contrast with the fieriness of hell
him: hahaha
him: but ann arbor is worse than hell
him: ann arbor is also a whore
her: better drink specials tho
him: see, what no one knows is that god went to UC for undergrad. and then went to OSU for grad school
her: no he didn't; he went to michigan for undergard and was their quarterback
him: haha, right
her: he got his master's at unc (which is why jesus went there) and an honorary doctorate of theology from harvard divinity school
him: hahaha
him: god would not even piss on ann arbor, so why would he go there
her: he went there to bring it the prestige it needed
her: they had no athletics program before god went there
him: and they still don't
her: but he brought it to the top of the big 10
him: all they have is a liberal football coach
her: and some good football
him: very liberal coach
her: after god graduated things kind of went downhill
him: hahaha
him: god wouldn't let that happen to his school
him: we got a nice conservative at osu
him: always have
him: always will
her: he got kinda busy with the middle east
him: haha
him: he screwed that up too
him: he must have gone to um
her: oh man
her: i'm glad i'm all the way in wv
her: so when the lightning hits you i can't be hit too
him: haha
her: i think moses played here at marshall
him: hahaha
her: he left for the promised land so we suck now
him: yea
him: u mean oakland?
her: haha yeah
him: i'm pretty sure california is not the promised land
him: nor was minnesota
her: california is more like pugatory
him: he should come back to the heartland and play for the BENGALS
her: no he likes the colts i promise you
him: fuck the colts
him: they have all the weapons they need
him: and still can't win a super bowl
her: i hope you're saving this conversation
her: on judgment day w'ell need it
him: i'm conservative, i have to go to heaven
him: god doesn't like liberals
her: yes
her: i know
her: he doesn't
him: satan is a liberal
her: yeah he is
her: he kills babise
him: that he does
him: and just to clear it up for u, satan did not go to osu, he went to cal berk.
her: that's where he did postgrad
him: and harvard law afterwards
him: no, that was undergrad
her: no it was mohammed who went to harvard
him: haha, even worse
him: oh, i didn't say that
her: satan got his law degree at purdue
her: which is why he sucks